Dodgeball is the devil

Sooooo apparently America has decided that what it really needs is more sissies.

Talking on the phone with my Momsie tonight, I learned about the goings-on in the world outside of the black hole that is vet school. (Seriously, I didn't know about the tsunami in Japan until a day later)

It was recently announced by some overarching, summer-camp-hating government bigwigs that dodgeball should be placed on a special list of "nonpassive recreational activities with significant risk of injury," and that camps that allowed it to be played needed to have some sort of "medical team" on site.

Not only does this make me want to gag, it makes me fear for the future lives of the generations below me. I thought it was bad when my grandmother told me about having to scrape pennies out of the ice during the Depression; now I have to tell my grandkids that in MY DAY, I had to ice my face nightly due to the horrific bruises I attained playing dodgeball. THE HORROR. WE HAD IT SO BAD!!!

Is this really what America has come to? Have we solved all of our major problems, and now its time to start micromanaging summer camps and children's games? Wait...isn't there still poverty and crime and CANCER TO CURE!? WHO THE $83@($ CARES ABOUT DODGEBALL!?

You know what's dangerous? Cholera. And Typhoid Fever. And AIDS. And the reemergence of Ebola virus. And zombies (although maybe not if you have a shotgun and run to an oil rig). NOT EFFING DODGEBALL. Let's get real people.

And, annnnnnnd at UMASS Amherst, my alma mater...they plan on banning all tobacco products, period. You can't have them in dorms, outside, in your car with the windows rolled up...not ANYWHERE. Because, you know, universities are completely outside of the law and can just decide to make a legal item illegal.

Or how about the fact that trans fats are banned for use in restaurants in some states? Or perfumes banned in universities because some people have allergies?

I HAVE AN IDEA...how about the one person with the perfume allergy takes a Benadryl??? And hey, barring serious mental illness, if someone just doesn't have the mental willpower to stop themselves from consuming massive amounts of trans fats...well eventually they'll probably be bed ridden with a horrific case of atherosclerosis. And that certainly takes them out of the gene pool, now doesn't it? Natural selection.

I'm probably going to hell for saying these things. But seriously...

Is this real life?

It won't be a bomb that kills us all...it'll be political correctness.